Windows to the Soul
Achieving perfect transparency of the eyeball proved too difficult (sucking out the pigments wasn't sufficient, sadly. Our apologies to ~SparkleEyeThePoet~ for that one. Guess it'll have to be GristleEye from now on, eh?) Anyway:

What We Do
The eyeballs are entirely removed and replaced with miniature glass panes, which can be tinted to match your colouring (we're out of both pink and rose at the moment, apologies for that).

Iron filings are then injected though your third eye, ensuring a good metallic coating to your soul.

Finally, a magnet is embedded in the top of your skull, ensuring that the soul is permanently dragged upwards, to a position roughly corresponding to eye-level.

Piercing Eyes etc.

What We Do
Well, at Bob's we're nothing if not ingenious. By using those plastic ammo rings from cap guns, and sewing them into place under your upper and lower eyelids, we can give you a mixed arsenal of small needles, beams of light, even small explosive devices, without interfering with your vision.

How it Works
Careful positioning of a pressure trigger allows the wearer to fire the weapon simply by wrinkling his/her nose in an endearing fashion. Cute, eh?

So g'wan, give your loved one a treat and have him/her fitted with Bob's Eye Armoury™ today!

Eyes to Drown In
Apparently, you can drown in 3 inches of water. Amazing, eh?

What We Do
Unfortunately, you can't drown in a pool the size of the average eye-socket, so it's out with the bone-saw for a bit of enlargement work.  We understand the importance of discreet enlargements here at Bob's so we only make the eye-socket large enough to accommodate the nose and mouth of the loved one - not a centimetre more.

With the eyeballs removed and a breakable membrane stretched across the water-filled socket (tears are always a nice touch here), it's a simple matter of sticking the face in.

Tears of Blood C'mon, challenge us, will ya? Using our Write From the Heart tube technology, it's a simple matter of routing the blood tubes into the tearducts.

Incidentally, the addition of a vacuum pump will even allow you to completely Cry Your Heart Out.